March 15, 2010
The bright rays of the sun shine through my bedroom window, blinding my eyes and waking me from my deep slumber. The sweet aroma of pancakes consumes the one bedroom house making it nearly impossible to fall back asleep. With a heavy sigh I lift my body out of bed and follow my nose down the stairs. The first time Kay and I slept together, it was a Saturday and the next morning she made us pancakes for breakfast. Ever since, they have been a Sunday morning tradition. I enter the kitchen where my wife is dumping a large bag of chocolate chips into her second batch of fluffy, buttermilk pancakes. I give her a quick kiss, grab the morning paper and sit down at the table.
“Chocolate chips today, my favorite!”
Kay whips around to give me a quick death stare. Honestly, I can’t wait until this pregnancy is over; the more pregnant this woman gets, the more emotional she becomes!
“Maybe if you didn’t breathe so loudly, right on me, then I would have been able to get some sleep last night too!” snaps, Kay.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. If you want tomorrow I will sleep downstairs,” I reply.
Now don’t get me wrong, I see how ridiculous Kay is being and I know that I should not be the one forced to sleep on the pullout couch. But quite honestly when dealing with a hormonal pregnant woman, it is always best to let them have their way, because if she is unhappy then it is inevitable that I will not be happy. She will make sure of it.
“You just don’t want to be around me anymore because you think I am fat,” she sobs.
I take a deep breath and compose myself before I say, “Of course I don’t think that you are fat. You are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Why do women constantly ask that question? It is obvious that the regardless of their size the answer will always be the same. “No, of course you are not fat.” It all seems like a waste of time to me. Not to mention Kay knows that she is fat right now. Afterall, she is pregnant!
“Aw, you are so sweet, I love you baby,” she answered sweetly.
Unbelievable.
We both sit down at the kitchen table and eat our feast while we read the Sunday paper. I skim through the wanted section desperately searching for any kind of writing job available. Who knew that a four-year journalism degree would leave me with so few job opportunities? I have spent the last three years working at Pizza Palace with a 16- year old girl and a 50-year-old high school dropout with no front teeth. It is a good thing that the fifty grand a year I spent at N.Y.U. is paying off. Kay is making decent money by putting her cooking skills to use in a small bakeshop down on Main Street, she dreams of one day opening her own shop. She really has a knack for baking. Her banana-nut-muffins are out of this world (and I am not just saying that cause I have to). Right now money is a little tight. In fact, it is so tight that we have cereal for dinner at least twice a week and we wear sweatshirts and gloves inside, instead of turning on the heat. But hey, we’re young, in love and we’re happy, and that’s all the really matters, right? But dear god I hope I can find a real job soon. I got to support my family, especially with this baby on the way.
Kay’s long blonde hair glows in the sunshine as she cuts out coupons. Even when she is pregnant, she is still gorgeous. She pulls herself up from the chair and waddles over to the fridge, pulling out a jar of hot sauce. I watch in amusement as she proceeds to dump the sauce all over her chocolate chip pancakes. Seeing my curious stare she replies, “What? I was craving hot sauce.” I laugh and so does she.
“Oh by the way, after breakfast, would you please run to the store and do the grocery shopping for me today? I have to go to Allison’s baby shower.” She asks.
“No problem, Hun.” I reply.
Although I hate grocery shopping I know better than to argue. Even though she was happy at the moment, god knows how long that will last for. I inhale a huge stack of pancakes drenched in maple syrup, grab the keys and get into my beat-up Chevy.
I pull into the Food Mart parking lot and walk into the store. The long list in my hands reads: hot sauce, chocolate, rocky road ice cream and sardines. Pregnancy does make for some strange cravings. Before I know it, my cart is overflowing with everything from ground turkey breast and apples to Boston cream pie and chocolate glazed donuts. In line for the register I stand behind a young red haired woman. The big blue eyes of the little baby in her arms catch my attention. I make faces at him and he let out a little giggle. God, I can’t wait to be a daddy. The redhead wore a bright red T-shirt with a “Hi my name is Carrie” name tag. I can’t help but smile at the baby as I imagine how my life will be one month from now, when I will have a baby of my own. The tired looking woman grabs her older son’s hand, I would guess he is about three years old, and puts the baby in the front of the cart. She looks stressed and tired but happy.
“Hey Mommy?” The little boy asks, “Have you ever hit the jackpot? Like in gambling?”
The woman laughs, “ No sweetheart, but are you feeling lucky today?”
“I feel very lucky!” He replies, with a huge grin on his face.
The woman laughs as she buys a lottery ticket from the cashier and heads off with her children. What a cute kid.
I pay for my groceries, nearly falling over when the bubblegum chewing cashier tells me the price, $258.62! We do not have that kind of money! I will have to talk to Kay about this later. As I head to the door I notice a lottery ticket on the ground. It looks like the woman in front of me in line dropped it. I pick it up and tuck it into my wallet before getting into my car and driving back home. I stop quickly at the hardware store to buy a few gallons of yellow paint for the baby’s new room.
I figure since Kay was at Alyson’s shower, today would be a great day to paint the baby’s room. I put on my headphones and blast my music It was actually fun. After the room was complete, I hop in the shower for what seems like an eternity. It was difficult to get all of the paint off. When I got downstairs, I saw that Kay had returned from the party.
The two of us order Chinese food for dinner and eat it on the couch while searching through, The Big Book of Baby Names for the perfect name for our child to be. We have a great time as we laugh at ridiculous names. Who in their right mind would name their daughter Celery? And argue over names we either love or hate. It was times like this that help me to remember how I am the luckiest guy in the world to have a wife so amazing as Kay. Even though the pregnancy makes her crazy most of the time, her old self is still in there. We fall asleep together holding the book.
I wake up the next morning in a good mood, and head off to Cocoa’s to buy my morning egg sandwich and paper.
“Hey, Joe! How’s it going today,” said the owner, Arnie
As I rummaged through my wallet I came across the lottery ticket I found yesterday. I never buy lottery tickets. There is such a small chance to win and I have never been really lucky. In fact, I don’t think that I have ever won anything in my entire life.
“Hey, could you just run this ticket through for me, to see if it won anything?” I ask Arnie, as I hand him a five-dollar bill.
“Sure thing, bro,” he replies as he swipes the card.
Little did I know it but what was about to happen next would change my life forever.
“Holy Shit!” Arnie screamed.
“What, What is it?’
“HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!!!”
“WHAT????”
“Joe you won! YOU WON THE JACKPOT!!”
My heart races as I let out a loud scream; everyone in the store looks at me like I am crazy as Arnie runs over to me and we jump up and down. I have never won anything in my entire life, and now I won the Jackpot of the New York Lottery. SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS, BABY!
Suddenly, in the midst of my excitement, a thought crossed my mind. This was not my ticket; it belongs to the lady with the two little kids. Oh who cares, I tell myself. I was broke! Kay and I deserve this money. We need this money. Finder’s keeper’s right?
April 14, 2012
It has been about a year since I won the lottery and life has become much more comfortable for Kay and I. We now have an additional family member Emma Rose Collins. She turns one tomorrow and I swear, she is the most beautiful creature that I have ever laid my eyes on. Jasmine also moved into our house and works as a live in nanny for Emma. Not that we don’t spend a lot of time with her ourselves, but this way she is never left unattended. Kay quit her job at the little bakeshop and opened up a bakery of her own, where she is the head chef. I, on the other hand, spend my days at the local country club playing golf and tennis while enjoying the occasional ice- cold beer. We sold our shitty apartment and currently reside in a beautiful four- bedroom house with a wrap around porch and an in-ground swimming pool out back equipped with a slide and a diving board. I can’t wait until Emma gets a little older and I can teach her how to swim and play baseball. Even though we have a lot of money, we stayed in Bloomfield Vermont. We like the town and don’t feel the need to relocate. We have a beautiful home and this is a great school district for Emma, the same school that I went to when I was a kid, and this is where my whole family lives. We would not want it any other way.
Today we are actually having the whole family over to our house to celebrate Emma’s first birthday. I have been sent to the store, while Kay has agreed to cook all of the food. (Quite honestly this is an agreement that I can live with, since the only thing that I can cook successfully is pasta.) I hop into my fancy red Mercedes and crank up the radio as I drive to the grocery store. I roll down the windows and feel the wind in my hair as I cruise down the road. The sun shines and the air is warm. There is even a parking space right by the entrance; it truly is the perfect day.
After loading up the cart with all kinds of good food (I am even allowed to buy brand name products now that money isn’t tight.) I head over to the checkout and wait behind a lady with two young boys. The little one sucks on a binky while the other one grabs a Kit-Kat bar from the shelf,
“Mommy, may I please have this candy bar?” He asks in the sweetest voice.
The mother turns around, “I’m sorry Jayden, not today.”
I know that I have seen this woman before but I cannot for the life of me figure out where. She looks tired and embarrassed as she pulls the food stamps out of her purse to pay for her groceries. My heart aches as I think about how life just isn’t fair.
That’s when it hit me; I knew why I remembered her. She was the woman I had seen at this very store a year ago. Back when I had no money, I was behind her in line and… Oh god. I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up; that was her wining lottery ticket! The woman I stole from is now on food stamps and cannot even afford to buy her son a candy bar, while here I am living large. What did I do? How do I live with myself?
As I get into my fancy car I hold my hands to my head. “Oh god, Oh god, Oh god.” It’s okay, I tell myself. You needed that money too. If you had not won the money, you would probably be on food stamps yourself. Okay, so we both needed the money. But how could I live so comfortably, knowing this family is struggling to make ends meet? At that exact moment, I look up and see the lady with her two redheaded children walking out of the dollar store, located right next to Food Mart. The family heads over to a junkie old car. I watch as she lifts her children one at a time, and carefully fastens them into their car seats. I know what I should do. She pulls out onto the main road, and I follow her home.
I make sure to keep my distance, so she does not know that I am following her. As we drive through the bad part of town, my heart goes out to this woman even more. Finally she stops in front of a tiny, rundown house. The paint was chipping off the sides and one of the shutters dangles off the window. 14 Elm Street. I scribble down the address on a napkin, and drive back home. I immediately grab my checkbook and write out a check for two million dollars. Then I grab a piece of paper and write,
Dear Carrie,
Please accept this gift as a token of my appreciation. I have more than enough money and would be honored to share some of it with you. Not very long ago I was in your position struggling to make ends meet. Although you do not know it, you changed my life and now I hope to do the same for you.
-J
Next I drive back to 14 Elm Street where I sit for over an hour. I want to place the note and money into the mailbox, but what would Kay say? I cannot just tell her I gave away that much money without an explanation as to why. I turn my car around and drive back home to tell Kay. But when I walk into the house and see her big smile, I freeze. What will she think of me when she discovers the ticket was not mine, but I never told her? Right after I won I should have found that woman, but I did not even so much as try to. I am an asshole.
December 24, 2020
Many years have gone by since I hit the big jackpot and I never told Kay about Carrie. Many times I have driven by Carrie’s house but I never gave her any money. Today I drove by her house and was shocked to see a foreclosure sign standing in the front yard. I actually felt like I was hit in the stomach. When I walked up to the door and knocked on it, a realtor in a business suit answered. She proceeded to tell me that the house’s previous owner went bankrupt and moved out West. My head spun as I walked back to my car and sat there sobbing for a while before I drove off.
I could not feel worse about what happened with Carrie. After all, I was single handedly responsible for this family’s misfortune. I had the opportunity to make things right, but I lost my chance. To this day, I have never told anyone about what really happened regarding the ticket. The guilt I have to live with is beyond comprehension. Although I have a beautiful family and live in a lovely house, I cannot help but be miserable and depressed. Kay does not understand and my depression has driven us apart. Last week, she filed for divorce. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret taking that money; it was not mine to take. I guess that it is true what they say about money, and how it cannot buy happiness. Heck, in my case, winning the lottery ruined my life.